Dangerous Reflections

Genesis 1:26-7 reveals that the Trinity’s intention in creating man and woman was to reflect His likeness. We are made in His image.

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I believe God gives us a little glimpse into what that means by giving us children and bloodlines. When I was 8, I couldn’t tell which school photograph was mine and which was my dad’s.

When I teach and a student says something demeaning of themselves, you can believe I sound like my mother. I even stand like her and use the same gestures.

I reflect my parents, some in looks and some in personality. My sisters, neices and nephews all very obviously belong in my family. We’re unique, but we reflect one another.

That is what I believe Genesis 1:26-27 is talking about. We are each unique, but if you look closely enough, you can tell we belong to the same Daddy.

And I believe that each sex has something unique that captures a different facet of God that the other is missing.

Most women seem to have three things in common: passion, relationships, and communication.

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I recognize that not all women are the same. I am as bizarre and oddly female as they come. Just ask my Bible study ladies. They have been wondering about me for some time now.

Regardless of the specifics, women long for relationship of some sort, be it romantic, soul-friends, or just acquaintences. We want to be known. And we go out of our way to communicate with others in order to achieve that “known-ness.”

Some of the women I know prefer online relationships and are silent in the face of another person. Other women want to be a couple inches away from your face as they communicate their depth.

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But here is what makes us unique from men: we want to communicate ourselves deeply and fully, sharing our experiences, joys, sorrows, and confusion with one another.

Maybe it’s just me, but men tend to share information. Women share life.

So how does that reflect God? Consider Genesis 1. God existed in perfect relationship with himself. He needed nothing, but He created the world, everything in it, and a man and a woman.

He walked with Adam and Eve in the cool of the day (Gen 3:8). Why? Considering His track record, I’d expect He wanted relationship.

And then, when Adam and Eve chose themselves over Him, God sent His Son, who would be a sacrifice so pure, it would restore our relationship with God forever.

Our craving for relationship as women seems to stem directly from our Father who made us.

In addition to restoring a relationship with rebellious people instead of destroying them, God spent thousands of years and used dozens of authors to put His heart and soul into a 66 book love letter to us.

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Then He sent a part of himself (the Holy Spirit) to live in us and translate His word so we would understand the depth of love He put into that letter and the character of the One who crafted it.

I’d say the desire for communication seems pretty familiar as well.

You and I reflect the image of God. And if we truly grasped and experienced the depth of His extravagant love for us? If we explored the depth of His character and allowed Him to do the same with us?

That right there, friend, is what Satan is so afraid of. 

If we experienced the depth of relationship and love with the God of Time itself that He wants us to, there is no power in this universe that could keep us quiet. 

Because we as women have the capacity for passion, relationship, and communication that makes us dangerous to the kingdom of Hell.

A Soldier’s Choice

Being beloved by God can sustain you and me through more than I think we really understand. But it is not enough to know that he loves us.

We have to realize, accept, and live out the fact that we are in a battle and, make no mistake, there is no Switzerland.soldiers-1002_1280

Either you are the Enemy’s or you are Christ’s. If you don’t know where you fall, check out “Love me! Why?” and “Christian: A Murky Mirror” in my sidebar.

Being a warrior in the field for Christ comes down to one powerful thing: Obedience.

Sounds boring and chauvenistic, doesn’t it? It’s not. Obedience to Christ is crucial to survival.

We will not survive this war, much less win if we don’t listen to and follow our Commanding Officer’s orders.

God is omnipotent (all-powerful), omniscient (all-knowing), omnipresent (everywhere), and eternal (timeless– without beginning or end).

Looking at that list, I’d say he is more than qualified to call the shots on a war that has raged longer than anyone besides him can out-live or remember.

Obviously, a key part of obedience is knowing his commands. So dive into the word of God (the Bible) and see what he says. Then act on it.

German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer puts it this way:

“Who stands fast?” he asked. “Only the man whose final standard is not his reason, his principles, his conscience, his freedom, or his virtue, but who is ready to sacrifice all this when he is called to obedient and responsible action in faith and in exclusive allegiance to God— the responsible man, who tries to make his whole life an answer to the question and call of God” (qtd. Metaxas).

Obedience is rarely a simple agreement that what God says sounds good, makes sense, or suited “that” situation. Obedience to God is a single-minded devotion that, as Bonhoeffer states, “requires a body.”

The Bible states quite clearly that “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15), “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them” (Eph. 2:10, ESV, emphasis mine), and “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves” (James 1:22, ESV, emphasis mine).

God is telling us to act in obedience for our own safety and well-being.

Does that seem a bit controlling and narrow-minded to you? Consider it this way: if all the soldiers in an army did whatever they wanted, how many wars would they win?

How many lives would be wasted because the soldiers refused to listen to the commanding officer who knows the enemy and knows that the way that seems clear is actually an ambush waiting to happen?

We are soldiers in a war.

It is your choice as to whether you live in obedience to the Commander who values your safety and well-being as much as he values the outcome of the war or die on the battlefield because you want to do things your way.

Confused, Alone, and Discouraged

Once we believe that Jesus is the Son of God who came to save us,  we stumble through a little prayer, then are pronounced Christians.

A Bible is dropped in our laps, we’re told to go to church, and be “Christians.” And that is the extent of our education.

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But what about those of us who actually have a sense of humor or– God forbid– adventure? Or life is so busy we can barely breathe much less devote an hour to read and try to understand the Bible?

Or we fall asleep praying because, let’s face it, talking to the ceiling just ain’t what it’s cracked up to be? Or the unthinkable happens and God doesn’t answer our prayer? 

Everyone else seems to get it and look great but here you are drowning with a good Christian smile on your face?

Or you have a fantastic walk with the Lord but you’re alone, lonely, discouraged, and wondering what in the world is so unlovable about you?

I’ve been there.

And there is hope. Do you know why I’m sitting here writing this? Dragging my little black moleskin and Bic pen up mountains, into deserts, across state lines, to work, into my backyard, and to bed with me?

Because I’ve been there. And one thing that the church, bless its little heart, is doing wrong is allowing its women to drown in insecurity, anxiety, and despair.

We have not been equipped to be Christians. We have not be equipped to be warriors. And we certainly have not been equipped to be women.

That is why I’m writing this blog. I am done watching women like me drown in churches with smiles on their faces and broken hearts stuffed up their sleeves.

I am not an expert, but God has led me through more swamps and dark places than I care to remember most days. And he has taught me a few things.

I want to share what I’ve learned. Hopefully it will help you. And hopefully it will help you avoid some of the traps I’ve stumbled into.

For now, just know that God really does love you. He has never left you. And he never will.

 

Broken and Enslaved

I am no match for Satan and neither are you.

The power of God which raised Jesus from the dead is more than a match for Satan. So, again, how is it that I am a threat? Because God freely gave me that power (Eph. 1:19-20).

No, I’m not God’s super-secret, superhuman weapon dressed in black leather and armed with nasty little toys to take down the Enemy.

God gives all his believers power to defeat Satan. That’s part of the deal.

Then why aren’t all Christians attacked? They are. Look at our churches. At your neighbors. Our Christian brothers and sisters are asleep! It’s as though they stumbled onto the Island of the Lotus Eaters, ate the flowers, and forgotten their homes, identity, and mission.

So maybe I should say they’ve been captured and put in POW camps. From what I see, they are so used to it, they no longer want the sunshine.
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Most of us American Christians never knew that there was a battle raging for our minds and hearts. If we did know, we stopped using the power God gave us because

A) there are so many distractions in life, and

B) there are so many distractions in life.

In the Church in Nicaragua, however, warfare and Body maintenance are taken very seriously. To become a member of a local church, a person must successfully complete the two-year trial period!

What is the trial? Prioritizing the Body over everything else. That means that when a mission trip comes up, you are available. A person needs a place to stay, your home is theirs. If work conflicts with a church service, you go to church.

Can you imagine doing that? I can’t either. However, there is a woman there who so desires to be part of the church that she has gone through several jobs because the church takes precedence. And God has provided every time.

When I think of my life and my commitment to church, I think of a two hours on Sunday and three hours on Wednesday night. With occasional “vacation” from the rigors of church attendance.

Sure, I help out when someone needs a meal. If I have time and can juggle my schedule.

Church is not my number-one, prepare my heart all week, apply the message to my life, and fight for and serve the Body every day, no matter the consequences, focus of my life.

There are too many other shiny things that distract me– like snuggly, warm covers on a cold morning; grading that extra stack of papers; attempting to tame my jungle out back; going on a breakfast date with my husband; going to see a students’ football game; grocery shopping; or laundry.

None of these things are inherently bad (well, maybe laundry…). However, and here’s where the POW American Church comes in, when my to do list and hobbies become my priority over my God and his Body, I have just handed Satan my free will, stepped into the dungeon, and chained myself to a wall.

Suddenly, I am so anxious, harried, focused, exhausted, and driven that my heart and mind are no longer 100% surrendered to my Lord. In fact, most of the time we wander or rush through life not even hearing our Lord. To be perfectly blunt, most Christians look exactly like Non-Christians.

So maybe you’re right. Christians aren’t being attacked. They’ve been overcome. Maybe because they’re too busy being Americans to live like Christians. Or, maybe it’s because they aren’t actually Christians.

Becoming a Warrior

I’m starting to suspect that we women, especially if we have a relationship with the Creator and His Son and truly grasp that we are the crown of creation (Genesis 1 and 2) and Beloved, we are one of the biggest threats to the Enemy’s plans.

Women have an enormous capacity for passion and action. During times of struggle or terror, if you get a women invested in the cause, she’s going to be a force to be reckoned with.

I am not saying that the feminine is all-powerful. I am saying that God created women for a divine purpose. And it wasn’t just to shop and eat cookie dough and make doilies. Nor was it to dominate men.

When we women finally lay down our rights and trust in the God who made us– unique, fierce, intelligent, and beautiful– when we believe that He has only good for us and choose to walk in obedience, that is when we become a threat. 

I don’t want to be collateral damage. I want to be a warrior. I don’t want to be a victim anymore, but a soldier with a life that matters. With a purpose and a King to fight for.

The moment I truly decided to take strategic, defensive and offensive action in obedience to my God, the Enemy attacked.

I am not sitting at home, enjoying a nice cup of tea and writing something theoretical on this blog. I’m sitting in a corner, praying for my husband, and wondering what is going to happen in the next ten minutes.

I’m in the middle of a battle right now, fighting for my husband, my life, and my marriage. And I have been all summer. Why? Because, by the grace and power of my Lord Jesus Christ, I have joined the ranks of Christian soldiers who threaten Satan’s survival.

Wait…Who’s a Threat?

The Enemy does all he can to separate us from the Creator’s love and open arms. So, my question shifted from “what’s wrong with me” to “what’s threatening about me” when I realized that one-half of the Creator’s children (i.e. women/feminine) is so profoundly exhausted, harried, lost, unprotected, fearful, and hardened. In a word: war-torn.

If I’m considering taking someone or something out, I will attack on of three things: 1) the weakest point, 2) the most beloved, or 3) the biggest threat. It’s simple logic! I’m not going to attack the bigger, more capable enemy, I’m going to either remove the biggest tactical advantage or damage the most meaningful thing or person to my enemy. Countless movies and books are written and sold out based on this premise.

My worldview proclaims that as humans, we are vulnerable because of our separation from our Creator.

Automatically, as fallen human beings, we are weak and generally unaware that we’re being slavered over by a vicious, ruthless, unseen enemy. Satan can attack us with impunity because we don’t even know we need a defense, much less how to go about setting one up!

If, however, we enjoy the re-connection with our Creator, then we have access to secure, foolproof defense and devastating offensive weapons that allow us to live in confidence, peace, and bad-ass security.

How does that work? It comes back to the fact that you are loved. God is so passionately and dizzyingly in love with you, He made a way for you to move from defenseless and broken to defended and whole. No wonder the Enemy doesn’t want us reconnecting with God! It’s easy to win a battle against broken, hopeless, defenseless people who don’t know a battle is raging. But through God’s miraculous love, you and I become very dangerous.

What’s So Threatening?

I often wonder what would happen if I just became. If I stopped trying to be or act like any- and everyone else and truly accepted me. Of course when people ask what I’d change about myself, I say I’m pretty happy with myself. Which is true– isn’t it?

My husband once took 24 days to hike the Colorado Trail (approximately 500 miles, with all the variations on the trail that he threw in for himself) from Denver to Durango. By himself. Straight through. He talks about how those 24 days were a microcosm of life and all he had was himself— to enjoy, confront, wrestle, and embrace. As he starts the story I find myself nodding and dreaming of doing the same. The some hidden, dragonish speck of my brain whispers that it’s just me. Alone. With myself. And immediately, the rest of my brain scuttles into houses, closets, under beds, bolts the doors, shutters the windows and nary a curtain waves in the breeze.

What is so terrible about me?! Some– not all– people like me. Several even love me! My husband– poor soul– knew many of my flaws and still chose to be my life buddy. If he can choose me for (hopefully) 50+ years, why do I run from the thought of myself for 24 days?

But lately, my question has shifted from “what’s wrong with me” to “what is so threatening about me?” Why the shift? I believe that there is a battle raging in the universe– impacting even the most mundane grocery run– I believe that we have a Creator who made each person, mountain, stream, raindrop, frog, flower, bug, cat, dog, and– yes– woman with a purpose of glory, meaning, impact, and beauty.

The battle started when the Enemy– he’s not my personal archenemy but God’s– decided he wanted to be the Creator. He wanted to be as beautiful, holy, worshipped, necessary, omnipotent, good, and beloved as the Creator was.

Does this sound familiar, ladies? It should. I’m convinced our catty comparisons and jealousies are an echo of this supernatural quarrel. So you can guess that happened next. That’s right. The enemy carefully and oh so casually went to the Creator’s most beloved friends and started a rumor. And just like that, relationships and reality unraveled just as the Enemy intended.

You may be wondering how this fits in with womanhood, but stick with me. It’s coming up. The unseen(ish) war between Creator and Enemy is conducted in the lives and interactions of the Creator’s children. The Creator has never given up on us and has gone to Hell and back to restore us to Him. So, if we are the Creator’s beloved, what will the Enemy attack? The beloved.

Welcome to the War Tent…

When you think of a woman, what comes to mind? Perhaps it’s an anatomical answer. Or an age answer or a female in a suit and heels, calling the shots or a mother with a husband, children, committees, and a house to run? What about a Christian woman? Or—possibly even worse—a “Proverbs 31 Woman”?

Whatever your mental image, I can bet that it is a) vague and b) not you. Don’t worry; it’s not me either. Womanhood is a vague, intimidating, just-this-side-of-dangerous concept. Can you feel it? The uncertainty, longing, disgust, and despair creeping up on you?

That is because womanhood is a dangerous topic that makes everyone just a little bit uneasy. Why? Because a woman unleashed is an awfully powerful thing.

You know Mother Nature? Mama Bear? “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”? Humanity and creation both recognize the feminine as a wildly powerful, ravishingly beautiful, intensely untamable force.

So. Do you feel that way? I don’t. Not most of the time. At my best, I’m perky. At my worst, I’m annoying. But fierce? Powerful? Frightening? Me? Hardly.

So what happened to me—to us? Remember those poems about sorceresses, druids, shield maidens, and women so fiercely inspiring, nations rose and fell? I don’t know about you, but that’s not the woman I see blinking in the mirror at 6:30 in the morning. In fact, if I’m honest, I don’t even see a woman. I see a girl.

Depending on your worldview, the fact that women are encouraged to out-do men at being men– tackling the business world and domestic world simultaneously, while also walking the tightrope of gorgeous but not slutty, trim not flabby, makeup but not too much, feminine but not doormat– or encouraged to be stay at home moms without any other options might tell you a bit about the nature of womanhood.

Depending on who you are, those options may imply a progressive world where women can be who and what they want. Or you might think we still have a long way to go. Or even that we’ve fallen into an immoral society that entices women away from real work: raising and rearing children.

My worldview tells me that regardless of your particular perspective, femininity, and womanhood are under attack.

I’ve never once met a woman (including myself, by the way) who is content with her lot in life, much less who she is. Women in love with their careers are haggard from the necessity to out-pace men otherwise they’ll lose their hard-earned respect or position. Mothers who dote on their children and husbands are frazzled, unfulfilled, and insecure in whether or not they’re enough.

Women are overloaded, underfed (emotionally, physically, spiritually, psychologically), overwhelmed, under-appreciated, and constantly trying to be more, feel more, do more, talk less, look this way, be that person, take on the world, never miss a beat, and look fantastic doing it all.

Do you see what I see? Look. Really look. Society demands that woman do. So? If women spend their entire lives juggling their lives when will they ever have the chance to be? Be women?

Women aren’t machines but we the world sure expect us to act like it. Think back to the inspiring beauty, the windswept sorceress of poems, history, and fiction. Did they seem frazzled? Distracted? Too busy? Perfect? No.

That image was inspired by real women. I want to be that woman. I desperately want to be fierce, passionate, vibrant, and a force to be reckoned with. I’m tired of being attacked and torn to bits. My worldview tells me there is a way for me to be that woman. That, in fact, I was created specifically for that purpose.

Do you want to be that woman? Or, if you think that’s a bit far-fetched, at least make it through the day feeling like you aren’t a failure? You’ve come to the right tent, my friend. Step right in and we’ll get our makeovers started together.