Echoes of Eve

When you think of a Christian woman, what do you think of? Personally, I think of anything and everything I’m not (which can mean a lot of different things depending on my mood).

What we should be expecting and seeing in the Church, however, are women who are assured that they are defended by the Creator who molded them for a specific purpose that only they can carry out. Because that is exactly who and what we are—beloved, purposed, empowered, and defended.

What I see instead are women who are afraid to tell their stories because they

  • Don’t have it “all together,”
  • Believe their sin is worse than anyone else’s,
  • Expect that they truly are unloveable,
  • Carry overwhelming shame,
  • Know their image is only skin-deep,
  • Can’t keep their house, children, husband, cars, clothes, and dishes in perfect order and happiness,
  • Ache with loneliness for someone to love and be loved by,
  • Feel unnecessary, unimportant, overweight, ugly, too much, too little, too smart, too dumb, not enough and certainly not defended.

Satan has distorted Eve’s story so that all we see are short-comings, doom, and a wrathful God. Historically, western society seems to expect women to suddenly strip naked and offer random people apples, seducing the world into sin and moral depravity. We ourselves suspect that we are less than the woman next to us, aren’t what we should be, and can’t offer anything worthwhile until we “get it together.”

And when we don’t pull off perfection, we expect God: the Old Testament Tyrant to judge us, then smite us for the tiniest mistake. And if he doesn’t punish us sufficiently, we take on the job and replay our mistakes, shames, and failures over and over again until we are incapacitated by our worthlessness.

What a victory for our enemy.

But I have news for you. God made you perfectly you. Utterly capable to achieve the good purpose He created you for (Eph. 2:10). You are an echo of Eve: life-giver, nick-of-time-helper, relationship-inviter, and enemy to Satan.

No matter the availability to evil and consequences of life after the Fall, no matter your mistakes or screw-ups, you are created in the image of God and you have dignity. But you also have an enemy. This enemy wants you shackled, shamed, and utterly deceived about your true role, power, and dignity. You’ll be no threat to him then.

Eve’s power came from accepting her role and identity as prescribed by God. Her extraordinary defense occurred because of her humility and honesty before God. I suspect that I am not the only woman who has been deceived, mocked, cheated, and shamed in my lifetime. We are no longer perfect beings living in a perfect world. That is not our role or identity on this earth. Our role as women is to stand before God and invite Him to defend us and reclaim our dignity, worth, and power.

Eve’s story guarantees that He will.

Eve: Facing the Music

Paradise—freedom, intimacy, contentment, soul-filling work without sweat or toil, as well as unity between man and woman, animals and earth, humanity and earth, creation and Creator. Even the temperature’s so perfect that nudity is not only an option, but lovely, comfortable, and slimming.

Then suddenly, with one bite, nudity is embarrassing. Intimacy is no longer comfortable and welcome. Schisms form in a marriage formerly composed of respect and nick-of-time coordination.

Two details that we need to understand at this point are 1) Adam and Woman have never had trust issues before and 2) Woman does not know Satan exists. Neither has she any reason to despise or fear snakes.

So back to the Tree. What’s so bad about knowing good v. bad? The Hebrew word for knowledge in this verse connotes an openness or experience (“Damah”). An availability to both good and evil. Whereas creation was protected from evil and provided good, there is now a leak and creation is doomed to experience both.

Similarly, Adam and Woman now experienced the duality of their form—spirit (Gen. 2:7b) and dust (Gen. 2:7a)—in contrast to the utter holiness of God. No wonder they reached for the nearest fig leaf. Now they knew there was an otherness, a separateness between themselves and God, but also between each other.

Enter God, stage right. He, as the all-knowing Creator, is not surprised at this shift. But rather than descending in power and accusation, He continues in the pattern of their relationship, inviting them to join Him for a walk (Gen. 3:8). When they do not appear, He calls to them (Gen. 3:9).

Imagine what would have happened if Adam and Woman had broken cover and run to Him, spilling out their fear and shame and confusion. That’s what God is inviting them to do. Instead, they hid and He drew them out.

When questioned by God, Adam does not take responsibility for his choice. He accuses God of dooming paradise by creating Woman. Remember, Woman was once perfect, made to match, help, and save Adam from the not-good-ness of being alone.

This is the first time something false has been spoken over Woman’s identity. You know how that feels because you’ve grown up in a fallen and false world full of sin. Imagine the sheer pain, shame, terror, and aloneness Woman felt. For the first time.

Her purpose and calling just rejected her in the presence of the Creator who could obliterate her with a word.

For those of you who consider the God of the Old Testament to be overly trigger-happy in the fire and brimstone department, let this sink in: instead of speaking Woman out of creation, God asks for her side of the story.

Her answer is surprisingly simple: “The serpent deceived me, and I ate” (Gen. 3:13). Unlike Adam’s answer, Woman conveys the facts of the situation: she was deceived and she chose to disobey.

The word she chose to use was hathal (“Hathal”). It means to deride, cheat, or mock (“Deceived”). Her confession isn’t simply an admission of her own guilt; it was an admission of what she lost at the hands of the serpent.

Think about it: when you’re bamboozled, even in fun, you feel smaller, stupid. Depending on the scam, people lose time, a bit of money, or everything. But no matter what size scam, there’s a little piece of you that feels less capable, intelligent, and powerful than it did before you were cheated.

That’s what Woman is describing. She’s not denying her choice. But she’s also telling the full, behind-the-scenes story. And guess what?

Woman had the ear of the Creator God who designed her to embody power and dignity. And Satan had just messed with her.

 

Strong, James. “Damah.” The New Strong’s Complete Dictionary of Bible Words. Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1996. Print.

— “Deceived.” The New Strong’s Complete Dictionary of Bible Words. Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1996. Print.

— “Hathal.” The New Strong’s Complete Dictionary of Bible Words. Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1996. Print.

A Soldier’s Choice

Being beloved by God can sustain you and me through more than I think we really understand. But it is not enough to know that he loves us.

We have to realize, accept, and live out the fact that we are in a battle and, make no mistake, there is no Switzerland.soldiers-1002_1280

Either you are the Enemy’s or you are Christ’s. If you don’t know where you fall, check out “Love me! Why?” and “Christian: A Murky Mirror” in my sidebar.

Being a warrior in the field for Christ comes down to one powerful thing: Obedience.

Sounds boring and chauvenistic, doesn’t it? It’s not. Obedience to Christ is crucial to survival.

We will not survive this war, much less win if we don’t listen to and follow our Commanding Officer’s orders.

God is omnipotent (all-powerful), omniscient (all-knowing), omnipresent (everywhere), and eternal (timeless– without beginning or end).

Looking at that list, I’d say he is more than qualified to call the shots on a war that has raged longer than anyone besides him can out-live or remember.

Obviously, a key part of obedience is knowing his commands. So dive into the word of God (the Bible) and see what he says. Then act on it.

German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer puts it this way:

“Who stands fast?” he asked. “Only the man whose final standard is not his reason, his principles, his conscience, his freedom, or his virtue, but who is ready to sacrifice all this when he is called to obedient and responsible action in faith and in exclusive allegiance to God— the responsible man, who tries to make his whole life an answer to the question and call of God” (qtd. Metaxas).

Obedience is rarely a simple agreement that what God says sounds good, makes sense, or suited “that” situation. Obedience to God is a single-minded devotion that, as Bonhoeffer states, “requires a body.”

The Bible states quite clearly that “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15), “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them” (Eph. 2:10, ESV, emphasis mine), and “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves” (James 1:22, ESV, emphasis mine).

God is telling us to act in obedience for our own safety and well-being.

Does that seem a bit controlling and narrow-minded to you? Consider it this way: if all the soldiers in an army did whatever they wanted, how many wars would they win?

How many lives would be wasted because the soldiers refused to listen to the commanding officer who knows the enemy and knows that the way that seems clear is actually an ambush waiting to happen?

We are soldiers in a war.

It is your choice as to whether you live in obedience to the Commander who values your safety and well-being as much as he values the outcome of the war or die on the battlefield because you want to do things your way.

Confused, Alone, and Discouraged

Once we believe that Jesus is the Son of God who came to save us,  we stumble through a little prayer, then are pronounced Christians.

A Bible is dropped in our laps, we’re told to go to church, and be “Christians.” And that is the extent of our education.

metaphor-1209691_1280

But what about those of us who actually have a sense of humor or– God forbid– adventure? Or life is so busy we can barely breathe much less devote an hour to read and try to understand the Bible?

Or we fall asleep praying because, let’s face it, talking to the ceiling just ain’t what it’s cracked up to be? Or the unthinkable happens and God doesn’t answer our prayer? 

Everyone else seems to get it and look great but here you are drowning with a good Christian smile on your face?

Or you have a fantastic walk with the Lord but you’re alone, lonely, discouraged, and wondering what in the world is so unlovable about you?

I’ve been there.

And there is hope. Do you know why I’m sitting here writing this? Dragging my little black moleskin and Bic pen up mountains, into deserts, across state lines, to work, into my backyard, and to bed with me?

Because I’ve been there. And one thing that the church, bless its little heart, is doing wrong is allowing its women to drown in insecurity, anxiety, and despair.

We have not been equipped to be Christians. We have not be equipped to be warriors. And we certainly have not been equipped to be women.

That is why I’m writing this blog. I am done watching women like me drown in churches with smiles on their faces and broken hearts stuffed up their sleeves.

I am not an expert, but God has led me through more swamps and dark places than I care to remember most days. And he has taught me a few things.

I want to share what I’ve learned. Hopefully it will help you. And hopefully it will help you avoid some of the traps I’ve stumbled into.

For now, just know that God really does love you. He has never left you. And he never will.

 

Broken and Enslaved

I am no match for Satan and neither are you.

The power of God which raised Jesus from the dead is more than a match for Satan. So, again, how is it that I am a threat? Because God freely gave me that power (Eph. 1:19-20).

No, I’m not God’s super-secret, superhuman weapon dressed in black leather and armed with nasty little toys to take down the Enemy.

God gives all his believers power to defeat Satan. That’s part of the deal.

Then why aren’t all Christians attacked? They are. Look at our churches. At your neighbors. Our Christian brothers and sisters are asleep! It’s as though they stumbled onto the Island of the Lotus Eaters, ate the flowers, and forgotten their homes, identity, and mission.

So maybe I should say they’ve been captured and put in POW camps. From what I see, they are so used to it, they no longer want the sunshine.
jail-451447_1280

Most of us American Christians never knew that there was a battle raging for our minds and hearts. If we did know, we stopped using the power God gave us because

A) there are so many distractions in life, and

B) there are so many distractions in life.

In the Church in Nicaragua, however, warfare and Body maintenance are taken very seriously. To become a member of a local church, a person must successfully complete the two-year trial period!

What is the trial? Prioritizing the Body over everything else. That means that when a mission trip comes up, you are available. A person needs a place to stay, your home is theirs. If work conflicts with a church service, you go to church.

Can you imagine doing that? I can’t either. However, there is a woman there who so desires to be part of the church that she has gone through several jobs because the church takes precedence. And God has provided every time.

When I think of my life and my commitment to church, I think of a two hours on Sunday and three hours on Wednesday night. With occasional “vacation” from the rigors of church attendance.

Sure, I help out when someone needs a meal. If I have time and can juggle my schedule.

Church is not my number-one, prepare my heart all week, apply the message to my life, and fight for and serve the Body every day, no matter the consequences, focus of my life.

There are too many other shiny things that distract me– like snuggly, warm covers on a cold morning; grading that extra stack of papers; attempting to tame my jungle out back; going on a breakfast date with my husband; going to see a students’ football game; grocery shopping; or laundry.

None of these things are inherently bad (well, maybe laundry…). However, and here’s where the POW American Church comes in, when my to do list and hobbies become my priority over my God and his Body, I have just handed Satan my free will, stepped into the dungeon, and chained myself to a wall.

Suddenly, I am so anxious, harried, focused, exhausted, and driven that my heart and mind are no longer 100% surrendered to my Lord. In fact, most of the time we wander or rush through life not even hearing our Lord. To be perfectly blunt, most Christians look exactly like Non-Christians.

So maybe you’re right. Christians aren’t being attacked. They’ve been overcome. Maybe because they’re too busy being Americans to live like Christians. Or, maybe it’s because they aren’t actually Christians.

Becoming a Warrior

I’m starting to suspect that we women, especially if we have a relationship with the Creator and His Son and truly grasp that we are the crown of creation (Genesis 1 and 2) and Beloved, we are one of the biggest threats to the Enemy’s plans.

Women have an enormous capacity for passion and action. During times of struggle or terror, if you get a women invested in the cause, she’s going to be a force to be reckoned with.

I am not saying that the feminine is all-powerful. I am saying that God created women for a divine purpose. And it wasn’t just to shop and eat cookie dough and make doilies. Nor was it to dominate men.

When we women finally lay down our rights and trust in the God who made us– unique, fierce, intelligent, and beautiful– when we believe that He has only good for us and choose to walk in obedience, that is when we become a threat. 

I don’t want to be collateral damage. I want to be a warrior. I don’t want to be a victim anymore, but a soldier with a life that matters. With a purpose and a King to fight for.

The moment I truly decided to take strategic, defensive and offensive action in obedience to my God, the Enemy attacked.

I am not sitting at home, enjoying a nice cup of tea and writing something theoretical on this blog. I’m sitting in a corner, praying for my husband, and wondering what is going to happen in the next ten minutes.

I’m in the middle of a battle right now, fighting for my husband, my life, and my marriage. And I have been all summer. Why? Because, by the grace and power of my Lord Jesus Christ, I have joined the ranks of Christian soldiers who threaten Satan’s survival.

Wait…Who’s a Threat?

The Enemy does all he can to separate us from the Creator’s love and open arms. So, my question shifted from “what’s wrong with me” to “what’s threatening about me” when I realized that one-half of the Creator’s children (i.e. women/feminine) is so profoundly exhausted, harried, lost, unprotected, fearful, and hardened. In a word: war-torn.

If I’m considering taking someone or something out, I will attack on of three things: 1) the weakest point, 2) the most beloved, or 3) the biggest threat. It’s simple logic! I’m not going to attack the bigger, more capable enemy, I’m going to either remove the biggest tactical advantage or damage the most meaningful thing or person to my enemy. Countless movies and books are written and sold out based on this premise.

My worldview proclaims that as humans, we are vulnerable because of our separation from our Creator.

Automatically, as fallen human beings, we are weak and generally unaware that we’re being slavered over by a vicious, ruthless, unseen enemy. Satan can attack us with impunity because we don’t even know we need a defense, much less how to go about setting one up!

If, however, we enjoy the re-connection with our Creator, then we have access to secure, foolproof defense and devastating offensive weapons that allow us to live in confidence, peace, and bad-ass security.

How does that work? It comes back to the fact that you are loved. God is so passionately and dizzyingly in love with you, He made a way for you to move from defenseless and broken to defended and whole. No wonder the Enemy doesn’t want us reconnecting with God! It’s easy to win a battle against broken, hopeless, defenseless people who don’t know a battle is raging. But through God’s miraculous love, you and I become very dangerous.

What’s So Threatening?

I often wonder what would happen if I just became. If I stopped trying to be or act like any- and everyone else and truly accepted me. Of course when people ask what I’d change about myself, I say I’m pretty happy with myself. Which is true– isn’t it?

My husband once took 24 days to hike the Colorado Trail (approximately 500 miles, with all the variations on the trail that he threw in for himself) from Denver to Durango. By himself. Straight through. He talks about how those 24 days were a microcosm of life and all he had was himself— to enjoy, confront, wrestle, and embrace. As he starts the story I find myself nodding and dreaming of doing the same. The some hidden, dragonish speck of my brain whispers that it’s just me. Alone. With myself. And immediately, the rest of my brain scuttles into houses, closets, under beds, bolts the doors, shutters the windows and nary a curtain waves in the breeze.

What is so terrible about me?! Some– not all– people like me. Several even love me! My husband– poor soul– knew many of my flaws and still chose to be my life buddy. If he can choose me for (hopefully) 50+ years, why do I run from the thought of myself for 24 days?

But lately, my question has shifted from “what’s wrong with me” to “what is so threatening about me?” Why the shift? I believe that there is a battle raging in the universe– impacting even the most mundane grocery run– I believe that we have a Creator who made each person, mountain, stream, raindrop, frog, flower, bug, cat, dog, and– yes– woman with a purpose of glory, meaning, impact, and beauty.

The battle started when the Enemy– he’s not my personal archenemy but God’s– decided he wanted to be the Creator. He wanted to be as beautiful, holy, worshipped, necessary, omnipotent, good, and beloved as the Creator was.

Does this sound familiar, ladies? It should. I’m convinced our catty comparisons and jealousies are an echo of this supernatural quarrel. So you can guess that happened next. That’s right. The enemy carefully and oh so casually went to the Creator’s most beloved friends and started a rumor. And just like that, relationships and reality unraveled just as the Enemy intended.

You may be wondering how this fits in with womanhood, but stick with me. It’s coming up. The unseen(ish) war between Creator and Enemy is conducted in the lives and interactions of the Creator’s children. The Creator has never given up on us and has gone to Hell and back to restore us to Him. So, if we are the Creator’s beloved, what will the Enemy attack? The beloved.